• Matthew Allner

The Battle For The Family


“The world is facing the greatest historical confrontation humanity has ever gone through. . . the final confrontation between the Church and the anti-Church, or the Gospel versus the anti-Gospel.”

- Karol Cardinal Wojtyla, 1976


“The family is placed at the heart of the great struggle between good and evil, between life and death, between love and all that is opposed to love”.

- Pope John Paul II, Letter to Families, #23


It’s not hard to see the break down of the family, and not only in America but around the world. But for the premise of this book effort we are going to focus on the family component in the United States. I’m sure many of us who are concerned with this issue are often times wondering how did we get to where we are today? While I often used to ponder this same question, and while there are a multitude of factors affecting this issue, there are two truths we must acknowledge before we dive into the answer to the question of how we arrived at this place in time with the problem. The first truth is that divorce is not some new thing that evolved in the last few decades, or even in the last century for that matter. Marriages and families have been broken for thousands of years and for many of the same reasons we still see them being broken today. It is not a new concept. However, the second truth we must consider and really take a deep look at is where the problem drastically changed and the statistics really started to show a drastic rise in the divorce rates. And this brings us back to the 1960s.


For those that know me personally, and know all the key factors affecting youth in our society, and what I have spent time researching (abortions, teen drug usage and suicide rates, the well fare state, and school shooting events), you know that I have done the basic research necessary to present the facts that something drastically changed after the 1960s and since then we have seen dramatic increases in all of these areas, which ultimately have played a role in the oppression we see with our nation’s youth. So it’s not their fault right? No, I didn’t say that. But it’s not someone else’s fault either is it? We can’t fall victim to the blame game, otherwise nobody has to be held accountable. The fact is, we are all responsible and we are all accountable. How though? This is the toughest part as a leader to face, as in answering this question a solid and true leader accepts responsibility for everything in their lives and everything in the lives of those around them whose lives, and whose success in life, they have been entrusted with. Any leadership other than this is unacceptable in the eyes and mind of a true leader – a Patriot if you will. There is a painful and horrific price we will continue to pay as a society for our failed leadership if we continue to allow leadership voids for evil to fill, giving it the ability to have the power to oppress us.


Just look at the divorce rates in the US today. For decades now it has hovered around 50%, and while much data has shown an increase, there is new data today showing a decline in the rates. However, as a former science researcher I would caution you to consider the data used to produce such results, as my concern would be that we also need to consider the number of young people who are not getting married but who are living together as if they were married and who are having families. A very simple scientific analysis of the situation and an understanding of basic statistics would help you see that as the number of families getting married is on the decline, so would the number of reported divorces, as you have fewer and fewer young couples getting married, therefore fewer marriages to enter into the mix to show divorce separation. The concern I have hear is that when people hear that the divorce trend is reversing itself, we can tend to think things are better and let our guard down a bit more, when in reality we need to keep it in up. It’s the data game, and it’s clever. And we better get used to it because it will be around for awhile if I had make an educated guess. This is why a solid education is important – so that we can educate our youth to understand how to trust data sources, as today most people tend to believe any published data as being a credible source of truthful information and often times, sadly, it isn’t.


Fathers, mothers, and parents across the US, we have to get our house in order. We have to get back to relationships and marriages where we genuinely carry out the very commitments we promised to our spouses when we were married, which was to give of ourselves – unselfishly and unconditionally – to our spouses. And then our spouses need to also do their part to help us to be able to do this for them as well and part of this means to not make it harder than it is for this 'giving' to take place. It’s always a two-way street here and we all need to do our part. Sadly, many married couples in society have allowed themselves to move away from this mindset– the giving mentality – as we have substituted it for the selfish one.


As Steve Bollman, Founder of Paradisus Dei, so clearly noted through his program That Man Is You, if we want things to be better for ourselves personally, for our marriages and our children, for our communities, for our country, and for our world we must have a clear understanding of this. . .


“We must confront the brutal truth surrounding the horrors and evils of the 20th Century and our own culture. And as we face this truth, learning more about it and how it has come to be, we will most likely encounter an evil that many would much rather avoid – an ideology and research findings from the most brilliant minds of both the secular and religious, and it will be incredibly unsettling. And to do so we will journey back into the story of Calvary and the death of Jesus traveling through Europe of the Middle Ages to the United States of today.”

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